Early Adventures 1: Serpent
Part One
Qui-Gon sighed deeply as he heard and felt the engines of the transport shut down. Slowly he released the seat restraints and stood. Master Yoda had requested his presence as soon as he had completed his mission. The councilor said it was urgent that he speak with Qui-Gon. However, the tall Jedi was suspect of Yoda's motives. If it were truly so important why could he not talk by comm? Why did this require Qui-Gon's personal attendance? The knight had no doubt that his master had something urgent to speak with him about. But...he also suspected this was merely a reason also to have the Jedi come to watch padawans fight.

The little green master would not give up his quest but Qui-Gon would not give up his ground either. Yoda continued to tell him again and again that it would be a good thing, the right thing to take another padawan. If for no other reason, success with another padawan would re-instill confidence in Qui-Gon. However, the knight had made a decision, one that he vowed he would not change. He made the promise to himself, deep inside where no one else could see, where no one else could reach...anymore. That was another promise that Qui-Gon made to himself. Never again would he allow anyone so close to him. No one would be able to reach his heart and soul again...ever again.

Xanatos had ripped his heart out and torn his soul apart. Xanatos. The very word made him shudder with unspoken feelings. Love and hate. Joy and pain. The happy boy who was so glad to train with Qui-Gon Jinn. The dark young man who betrayed Qui-Gon Jinn. Xanatos. To the tall man the word was the same as ache, betrayal...the dark side. In those horrible moments on Telos when Xanatos had first turned on him, that is all Qui-Gon could feel...the ache and the betrayal and the horrid evil presence of the dark side. And he had come to realize, to truly understand, that Xanatos had not made the decision at that moment. True, it was that second in time that he finally crossed the line, but the choice to turn had been forming in the boy's dark soul...festering and boiling until the right set of circumstances caused him to take that final step.

Qui-Gon tried to pull himself from the memories yet again, but they would not easily go away. He walked quickly down the ramp of the transport into the docking bay of the Jedi temple. Long and quick his steps were, resounding with the ache that pounded inside him. No, the memories would not go away. And the voice inside him began to question and try his soul again.

Why didn't you see it coming? You should have known. He was your padawan. You had a link with him. You should have been able to sense something...something. Even he should not have been able to hide it all. Master Yoda talked with you about Xanatos before. More than once. Why didn't you listen to him? Did you think you were so much wiser? Did you think you could see into the Force better than Master Yoda? You didn't see the same things in Xanatos that he did. Why? Are you so blind? Or so stupid? Would you not admit that you were wrong? After all the time invested and all the times you stood for him were you just too unwilling to admit the truth or were you just too proud? Too sure that you could still train the boy, work with him, win him back? Didn't you sense it? Anything, even a tremor in the Force? Or did you ignore it? What does that make you then? An incompetent Jedi? One who will not heed the Force...or is unaware of it?

Or is it just something about Qui-Gon Jinn? Something about me that drove Xanatos to what he did? He really did have good in him I could feel it. It must have been me. Was I such a terrible master and teacher? Was I too demanding? Did I expect more from him than he was able to give? Was my perfection too much? Is that what made him turn against me? Perhaps his choice was not as much against the light side as it was a choice against me. How could I have been so wrong? I did train one padawan successfully. What happened the second time? What wrong decisions did I make? Or...could it be that darkness in me that drove him to it? Master Yoda told me from the time I was a padawan that I was defiant, rebellious. He said that I would have my own way. That is not a good thing in a Jedi. I never thought about it until recently. Is there something dark in me? Is that what makes me this way? Am I teetering on the edge of the dark side myself? Is that why I rebel against the council and the code? Is that what ignited the fire in Xanatos? Did I drive him to it, not because I was too demanding a master, but because the darkness in my soul reached him? Is that what I communicated to him in my thoughts, along our link? Subconsciously telling him to turn to the dark...as I am close to the dark?

"Qui-Gon, good to see you. How are you?"

The voice startled the tall Jedi. Inside his heart jumped, but he tried to keep his outward calm. And he berated himself for being caught off guard like that. He was so deep in his tirade that he was not even aware of the path he was taking along the corridors.

"Jareel," he said quietly, and he hoped calmly. "Good to see you." The tall man's pale blue eyes looked grey. Qui-Gon knew it was because his friend had been so concerned about him. He felt a pang of guilt. Even as he had gone from mission to mission recently, avoiding coming to the Jedi temple, Jareel had faithfully tried to keep up with his movements and called to check on him often. However, Qui-Gon tried even to avoid that. Not because he questioned the sincerity of his friend's concern or even because he didn't really want to talk about himself or Xanatos. The elder knight was certain that Jareel would be disappointed in him and that he didn't think he could bear. Qui-Gon was hard enough on himself. To have to deal with the questions, doubt or accusations of others would have been intolerable, especially from his closest friend. But also Qui-Gon felt guilty for avoiding Jareel...as he intended to do now.

"I'm truly glad to see you," Jareel answered quietly. "You didn't mention you were coming to the temple."

"It happened rather quickly. Master Yoda seemed urgent in his request. And...I really shouldn't keep him waiting. I hope...you understand. I'm sorry...but...I really have to go." Qui-Gon looked down the corridor, wanting to be on his way.

"Of course I understand. But...I hope you'll at least say goodbye before you leave again."

"Yes, I...will. I will. Now...if you'll excuse me." And he was moving before he allowed Jareel a chance to reply. Qui-Gon didn't see the dark look of worry on his friend's face. Another reason he didn't want to talk much to Jareel was that he feared he might say what he was thinking. The elder knight was almost obsessed with analyzing the situation and he feared that he would say the things he was thinking. No one must know what was going on inside him. No one. It was enough that they all knew of Xanatos' betrayal.

Another reason that Qui-Gon chose to spend as much time away from the temple as possible was the fact that the entire temple did know of Xanatos. He could feel the whispers and the accusations. He did not have to hear them. As he walked along the corridors in a daze in those first days after he returned from Telos, Qui-Gon could feel all the wonder, doubt, pity, and blame that was directed at him. There was no place he could go to be free of it. And so he fled from it. Mission after mission without break. When there was time between missions, unavoidable delays, late flights, waiting for decisions to be made, the Jedi spent that time waiting elsewhere. Anywhere but here. It was still too soon, too fresh. Everyone still wondered and questioned what had happened and Qui-Gon had enough trouble facing himself, without having to face them as well. The only times he came to the temple were when Master Yoda insisted, demanded that he come.

And most of those times the little master tried to counsel his former padawan. Qui-Gon appreciated the effort....and the concern, but it was the last thing he wanted. No matter how wise Yoda was, he could not know what Qui-Gon had gone through. Therefore his counsel was somewhat empty. The words he spoke seemed perfunctory to Qui-Gon. His former master was doing what was expected of him, trying to help the knight come to terms with the experience and its scars. But no one could know what the experience really felt like, how much it rocked him to the core. For that reason, Qui-Gon preferred not to talk about it. He sought his comfort from the Force.

Even that had been hard to do immediately after his return from Telos. Qui-Gon questioned himself so deeply. He was so certain that something in him had driven Xanatos to the dark side. In fear he recoiled from the Force, afraid to touch it lest he find the dark himself. However, he finally decided it was not going to happen to him, at least not for that time. The warmth and comfort of the Force was his closest friend, his only friend. The only friend he would willingly reach out to. Qui-Gon had pulled away from all Jedi, ones that he had known for years. Jedi that he had called friend, he would hardly acknowledge. The knight knew they meant well, but he didn't want to talk about what happened. He didn't want their encouragement. He didn't think it sounded sincere and didn't think he deserved it either. Another reason to avoid the temple.

Master Yoda had watched his former padawan closely in those days. He tried many ways to help, but they were all brushed aside. Finally he realized that Qui-Gon would have to find his own way. No one could help him. And so he left the Jedi to himself...but watched. From afar he watched as Qui-Gon fled the temple. It was still a relatively recent event, but Yoda was satisfied that Qui-Gon was beginning to find his way back. When he was happy with that assessment, that is when the green creature began trying to convince Qui-Gon to choose another apprentice. His reason was two-fold. Qui-Gon needed that experience. He needed to bond with a new padawan and train that youth. It would help mend his wounds. Also a measure of success with an apprentice would help build his self-confidence.

The tall Jedi had listened to Yoda's arguments more than once, patiently and impassively. However, he had made that promise to himself...the promise that no one would ever touch the inner part of him that he had revealed to Xanatos...and that Xanatos had ripped apart. No one would ever get so close to him again. Qui-Gon would never train another. Not only because he did not want to make the emotional investment, but also he feared the outcome. If there was truly something in him that had driven the dark young man away from the light, then he could not risk that happening to another apprentice. Qui-Gon had done enough damage with his second padawan. He would not allow himself to make the same mistake again. No, he would never train another.

The thoughts tumbled over and over in his head as he strode the corridors, the long corridors of the huge temple. Big enough that he should be able to lose himself in it, but seemingly filled to capacity. At least to Qui-Gon it seemed that way. He tried to dismiss the thoughts. It was becoming a little easier...just a little. Enough time had elapsed since that incident to allow him to mend a small amount, but it was still a recent and fresh event. An open wound that he wondered over and over how long it would take to close.

Qui-Gon forced the thoughts away. He became more aware of his surroundings and having oriented himself, he turned toward Yoda's office. However, the councilor was not there. It was not necessary for his assistant to tell Qui-Gon where the little master was. The knight knew better than most Jedi where his former master was.



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The tall man breathed in the air. It was fresh and moist and cool. He looked around him at the greenery and blossoms. Qui-Gon had been on many planets where such growth was more than abundant. And having those memories, it was hard to believe that this all was contained inside the Jedi temple. The room was so large that in the middle of the garden, one couldn't make out the walls surrounding this. And the reflected light seemed so very much like a sun. It was soothing to him to feel the rush of the living Force through this place. One of the few comforts he had left. But the knight pulled his attention back to the moment and began to walk a little faster along the well-worn path.

Master Yoda was just where he expected him, on a bench near a waterfall. Yoda's favorite place in the garden. Qui-Gon had many pleasant memories of sitting at his master's feet here, listening and learning...and absorbing the Force. He stood a little way off and just observed Yoda for a moment. The little creature's hands rested atop his gimmer stick and his eyes were closed down to a small slit. If the man had not known better, he would have thought Yoda asleep. However, even though the little councilor was hundreds of years old, he was not old and feeble. No, Yoda's mind was most likely deep in communion with the Force, relaxing, but also probing, learning, questioning.

"Come closer," Yoda said without opening his eyes. He had been aware of Qui-Gon's presence almost since he had entered the garden.

The knight was not surprised. He expected Yoda to know he was there. He walked over to stand before his master and stood quietly, waiting. Qui-Gon would not speak until Yoda was ready to talk.

A couple of minutes later the big eyes opened most of the way and he looked up. "Well you are looking Qui-Gon."

He bowed deeply in respect to his master. "You requested my presence." Yoda was not one for pleasantries, so he got directly to business.

"Sit. Talk with you I will."

Qui-Gon sat down and readied himself to patiently listen to Yoda's arguments for taking a padawan. He fortified himself inside and reminded himself of his promise...and of the disaster his last attempt at training brought.

"Think you that I have asked you here to watch apprentices fight." It was a statement not a question. Qui-Gon, realizing it was not a question, did not answer. "Wrong you are." The tall man's eyebrows went up almost imperceptibly. However, Yoda had noticed. "A mission I have for you."

The knight was puzzled. "Then why was it necessary for me to return to the temple, Master?"

"Because a place of sanctuary it is. A place where the Force runs strong. Need that you do right now. Need that before on this mission you go."

That sounded ominous. "What is the mission?" Qui-Gon asked simply.

However, Yoda did not answer immediately. He took his gimmer stick in one hand and idly dragged it across the ground before him. Whether it was aimless doodling or Yoda was drawing something meaningful, Qui-Gon could not decide. He was almost mesmerized by watching and was a little startled when finally Yoda did speak. "Know you Yivva Ghennt."

"Of course I remember him. He was knighted just months after I was."

"Yes. Because away from the temple you have been, heard of his fate you have not." It was quiet for a long moment. "Turned he has."

"To the dark side?" Qui-Gon whispered in disbelief.

Yoda nodded his head without looking away from his doodling. "To the dark side he has turned. Much evil he has done. Many people has he hurt."

"But...why?" Qui-Gon didn't really expect an answer, but couldn't stop himself from blurting out the unanswerable question. It was too much of a shock, too hard to comprehend.

"Only does he know that."

"Does this have to do with my mission, Master?"

The little creature continued to worry the ground with his stick. He never looked away from it either. Slowly he nodded. "Much evil he has done," he repeated. "Stop him we must. Stop him you must."

Qui-Gon was silent for a long time. "That is my mission?" he asked quietly.

"Your mission it is. Responsible the Jedi are for training him. Responsible we are for stopping him. Stop him only another Jedi can. Stop him you will. Your mission that is."

"Yes my Master." Qui-Gon started to stand as he opened his mouth to ask a question.

However, Yoda didn't allow him the chance to do either. "Stop," he said. "Sit." Qui-Gon settled himself back down. "Rush into this you must not. Called you to the temple for a reason I did. Remain here to prepare yourself you will. Leave when I tell you to you will."

The tall knight's brow creased. "But...why..."

"Strong the dark side is in him. Sure you must be of yourself when meet him you do. Here you will stay to mediate and prepare yourself. Join you I will at the end of each day. When ready you are then send you I will. Take this lightly you must not. Inside yourself look. Ready you must be to face Ghennt. Knows you he does. Use that against you he will." Finally he met Qui-Gon's eyes. "Prepare yourself you must." He stood and walked away.

The man watched Yoda walk away. His mind raced with questions. Why was it necessary to prepare to meet the former Jedi? If he were not ready now, what would sitting around the temple accomplish? Unless...did Yoda know what he already suspected about himself? That there might be a dark blot on his own soul...a tendency toward the dark side? Is that why the warnings and the admonition to prepare himself? A chill passed over Qui-Gon. He suddenly felt cold inside. Yoda knew it. Then it must be true. But, if it were true, why would Yoda send him? Certainly his master didn't want to see him turn. Why?

A little way off the green creature watched the man. He sighed deeply. Prepare yourself you must. Waste not your time questioning. Wrong that is to do. Question not why. Find your peace and your place in the Force you must before the dark you must face.



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Each day Qui-Gon spent hours in meditation, searching himself and wondering again and again...why? Why had Yoda chosen him? Why was it necessary to prepare himself this way? Why? It began to cause him more doubt than self-assurance.

The Jedi was deep into a meditative trance now, trying to find peace instead of allowing the questions and doubt to fill him. For the moment he was comforted and assured. Then he was aware of another presence. Slowly, hesitantly, he brought himself up out of the trance, to full awareness. Sitting across from him, on a large cushion in the meditation chamber was Master Yoda.

"Many days have you spent here."

"Yes, my Master."

"Preparing yourself you are?"

"Yes, Master."

"Still unsettled you are."

"I have...many questions."

"Empty your mind of questions. Nothing will I answer today."

Qui-Gon drew in a breath and slowly released it, trying to drive the questions away with the expelled air. Yoda watched him carefully, as if trying to judge how successful he was.

"Prepared you are."

"For my mission?"

"Yes. Leave you may."

The Jedi's brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not..."

However, the little master would not allow him to finish. "Prepared you are. Empty your mind of questions. Ready as you can be, you are. Done well on confronting one of the dark side before you have. Know I that face this you will be able to. Arrangements have been made for transportation. Reported Ghennt was on Chordia. Go there you will."

"Yes Master," Qui-Gon said hesitantly.

"Wrong something is?"

"No, Master. I just don't understand..."

"Understand you do all you need to. Tomorrow the transport leaves from the main spaceport. On it you will be. Seek Ghennt you do. Nothing else do you need to understand." He stood and walked out.